Frankly, I'm surprised that people are excited about Ocean's Thirteen. Not that I think people are in a crazy frenzy over it or anything, but isn't it just a lame sequel to a lame sequel to a remake of a movie that wasn't that good the first time? Or am I being unfair? To find out, I decided to watch some movies. That's a well-designed research project right there. Some people conduct investigations that require test subjects and computer analysis and years of data, but my plans involve a little less effort.
First up: The original Ocean's Eleven, starring Frank Sinatra and the rest of the rat pack. And a lot of other people, including Norman Fell. Norman Fell?
The plan in this one is to knock over five casinos at once, for no real reason. It reminds me of the original Gone in 60 Seconds, where somebody just arbitrarily demands an impossible task and the protagonist just shrugs and goes along with it.
Most of the movie is taken up with banter between people who are no longer pop-culture icons. The kids today, they don't know who Peter Lawford is. And by "the kids", I mean "me". All I know about him is that he was part of the Rat Pack. Back then, that's all you needed to be.
It's a pretty feeble movie, really. It's an hour before anyone mentions the plan to rob five casinos, and most of the time is taken up with drinking and smoking. There's so much smoking that someone even dies of lung cancer during the movie! Basically, your only hope is to be entertained by the cameos. If you don't think you'll get a thrill from seeing two minutes of Red Skelton, I'd say you should watch Robin and the Seven Hoods instead, as it is a much more entertaining Rat Pack movie. Heck, I'd almost recommend Cannonball Run first, since it has Dino and Sammy. And at least it was made for a reason other than "Frank's pals like to hang out in Vegas together and would like to get paid to do it."